How to Do EFT

Here's a five-minute lesson on how to do the basics of EFT.




Now that you know how to tap, here are some written instructions so that you can take it to the next level:

EFT: The Basics

1) The set-up (the set-up is optional. I often skip it.): "Even though I'm upset/sad/angry about _________________, I deeply and completely accept myself." Recite the set-up three times while tapping the karate chop points together.

2) Tapping through the points: Go through the tapping sequence two times, while repeating your tapping statement at each point: "I'm upset because ______________." When you've done the sequence twice, evaluate how you feel. If the issue or pain is still present, go through another full round of the set-up and tapping, and/or move to another aspect of the same issue.

3) To find another aspect of the same issue, just go with how you're feeling. Helpful questions to determine your next tapping statement are:

What am I experiencing in relation to this issue/symptom now?

What thoughts and feelings are coming to me about this now?

If this symptom/issue had a color, what would it be? Then tap on that. For example: "This gray sadness in my belly."

If this issue or symptom had something to say to me, what would it be? Then tap on that. For example: "Even though this pain in my hand is saying 'I can't do this anymore', I deeply and completely accept myself."

Tapping Points
eyebrow
corner of the eye
beneath the eye
beneath the nose
chin
collar bone
beneath the arms
karate chop point
liver point (about 2 inches beneath the nipples/breasts)
heart (sternum) and crown of the head

If you have questions, as always, let me know in the comments section below. I'm here to help, and I'd love to hear from you!



How to Use EFT to Release Fears and Phobias

With Halloween fast approaching, there seems to be a monster, ghost, or goblin around every corner. Nearly every store window is filled with them, and many homes are decorated with creepy things designed to make even adults shudder with fear. What better time than now, when we're surrounded by countless frights, to use EFT to face our fears, and not just face them, but tap them away?

What are you afraid of? Many people are, understandably, afraid of death. Others are more frightened by the prospect of a loved one dying (that's my biggest fear). Some people are afraid of buttons. (For you word-nerds out there, the name of that fear is koumpounophobia.) In fact, the list of fears and phobias is nearly as long as the list of things there are in the world. According to the Huffington Post, these are the top ten most common fears:


10) Being in a crowd

9) Thunder and lightning
8) Water/drowning
7) Blood/injury/injections
6) Flying
5) Small enclosed spaces (claustrophobia)
4) Fear of public places (agoraphobia)
3) Heights
2) Animals (including snakes, spiders, dogs, and others)
1) People (this includes the fear of public speaking)

Whether it's death, flying, public speaking, or buttons that scares you, you can release your fear with EFT.


There are many ways to go about this. Depending on what the fear is and what caused it will largely determine how you and/or your EFT practitioner approach it. When I'm working with a client on a fear or phobia, I usually begin at the beginning.


For example, many years ago I had a client who came to me for a severe water phobia. She had had this phobia for over twenty years, ever since escaping from Vietnam in a small boat filled with 30 other refugees. On the first day of their voyage, they lost their motor. Without it, they were left floating, adrift at sea, for over a month. They had barely enough water and rice to survive, and this was strictly rationed out in tiny portions. Finally, after weeks of near starvation, exposure to the elements, and terrifying nights surrounded by nothing but black water, they were rescued.


Because my client knew when and why her fear of water had begun, my approach to helping her release it was very straightforward. All I had to do was have her tell me the story of what happened, listen for the parts that were clearly the most traumatic, and tap those out until they were neutral. It took one session.


The next time I saw this client, she showed me photos of herself joyfully playing in and near water. In one, she was sitting in a small boat, with her feet dangling over the edge, in another she was wading into small waves on a beautiful beach, and in the last one she showed me, she was parasailing. She had no more fear of water, and felt as free to enjoy it as she had as a child, before the harrowing experiences she had at sea.


Other fears and phobias are not so easy to crack. This is because sometimes people don't know why they're afraid of something. In these cases, you and/or your EFT practitioner may need to do a bit of detective work.


One place to start is with this tapping statement: "I'm afraid of _____________ and I don't know why."


As you repeat this statement while you or your practitioner taps through the points, more than likely some memory or inkling about the fear will begin to surface. It may not even make sense to you, but whatever it is, go with it.


For example, an image of someone's face may come to you, and you may feel that that is somehow related to your fear. In that case, you would then create a tapping statement out of that. Something like, "My fear of ____________ reminds me of ____________ and I don't know why."


If you keep on tapping on the fear and whatever comes to you about it, your subconscious mind will very reliably deliver up the next thing to tap on. It's like tapping on one aspect of the fear peels it away, which reveals the one beneath it (think of the onion metaphor). Before long, you'll be free of your fear, and it will no longer be able to affect you.


As always, the thing to remember about EFT is that when you're tapping about something that is in the past (like my client's experience with being adrift at sea for over a month), once you release it, it's gone for good. If you're tapping about something that is any ongoing situation, for example, having cancer and being afraid that you will die from it, you may find that the fear returns.


You may have heard me describe this as being like a glass of water. Imagine that the glass is filled to the top. In this case, we'll call that water "Trauma from being bitten by a dog." Once all that trauma has been released with EFT, this metaphorical glass of water is empty, and it's empty for good, because the event is in the past.


However, if you are tapping on a glass of water that we'll call "Having cancer," once it's empty, you will be free of the fear, but since you still have cancer, the fear may come back. In this case though, the glass you emptied is now only partially full, and thus will feel less intense, and will take less tapping to empty it.


Like grief and trauma, fears are no match for the magic of EFT. Can you imagine your life without the fear that holds you back, keeps you up at night, and turns your belly into a roiling cauldron of dread? Thanks to the gentle power of tapping, you don't have to imagine, because before you know it, you'll be free.


Got questions or comments about this article? If so, post them in the comments section below. I'm here to help, and I'd love to hear from you.

Tapping Script for Relationship Issues



As is the case with all tapping scripts, these statements can be used as is, or modified in any way that makes them resonate more fully with your experience. Also, you may notice that when you start tapping on one of these statements, thoughts and feelings will arise that you can then turn into new tapping statements, which will then give rise to still more thoughts and feelings, which you can use to create additional tapping statements, and so on. I call this following the thread, and it’s a very efficient way to heal and release a lot of painful feelings in a short amount of time, bringing you both peace and clarity about whatever it is that's causing you to suffer.
​Here are the tapping statements:

I’m upset because my partner and I had a fight.
I feel hopeless because my partner and I seem to be speaking different languages and neither of us can understand each other.
My partner isn’t listening to me and it’s really frustrating/aggravating/hurtful.
I don’t know what I did to upset my partner—I’m really at a loss here, and it’s scary.
I don’t want to fight with my partner, but we keep doing things that upset each other and I’m afraid that all of this conflict will be the end of us.
My partner really hurt my feelings but I don’t want to tell him/her because I’m afraid he/she won’t understand.
I’m really sad that my partner and I have been fighting; I wish we could just be happy and peaceful together.
My partner is so sensitive; I feel like I have to work really hard just to keep from upsetting him/her.
It seems like my partner really doesn’t care about my feelings, and I can’t stay in a relationship like that.
When my partner does/says ___________________________, I feel like he/she doesn’t really love me.
I feel really alone because my partner and I had a fight and now our connection seems broken.
I’m really angry at my partner because ______________________________.
I feel terrible because I said something really hurtful to my partner.
I feel guilty because I lost my temper with my partner.
When my partner and I fight, it makes me feel really sad and afraid.
I’m afraid my partner and I will never be able to overcome the issues that we have as a couple, and that makes me really sad.
I don’t understand why my partner does/says _________________________, and it’s really confusing and upsetting for me.
When my partner gets angry with me I completely shut down and I don’t know what to do.
My partner lied to me and now I feel like I can't trust him/her.
My partner cheated on me and I'll never be able to trust him/her again.
I wish I could trust my partner, but he/she has lied to me so many times, I don't see how I can.

Tapping Script for Healing from the Loss of a Child

As is the case with all of my tapping scripts, the statements below can be used as is, or modified in any way that makes them resonate more fully with your experience. Also, you may notice that when you start tapping on one of these statements, thoughts and feelings will arise that you can then use as new tapping statements, which will then give rise to still more thoughts and feelings, which you can use to create additional tapping statements, and so on. I call this following the thread, and it’s a very efficient way to heal and release a lot of painful feelings in a short amount of time.

Here are the tapping statements:

I refuse to accept that my baby passed away.
My child died and I will never get over it--I'll be grieving for the rest of my life.
My baby died and I'll never get to see him/her again.
My baby died and I didn't get to say goodbye to him/her.
I don't know how to go on without my child.
I don't want to go on without my child.
I wish there was something I could have done to save my baby.
I should have done more to keep my child safe.
I should have done more to save my child's life.
If I had only done __________________, my child would not have died.
If I had only not ________________________, my baby would still be here.
I would give anything to have my baby back.
I don't understand why God took my baby from me.
It's not fair that my child died.
I had unfinished business with my son/daughter, and now I'll never get to resolve things with him/her.
I'm consumed with grief and no one knows how to relate to me.
I wish I had been able to protect my baby and keep him/her alive, but in the end, there was nothing I could do, and it made me feel so powerless.
People want me to heal and move on, but I can't, and I wish people would just understand that and let me be.
I should have been a better mother, and now it's too late.
I'm angry at God/Life/The Universe for taking our child from us.
I will be heartbroken over the death of my child for the rest of my life.
No one understands what I'm going through and it's really lonely for me.
There is no way to escape the pain I'm in.
I feel like this is just a terrible nightmare and I just want to wake up.
Since my baby died I’m living my worst nightmare every single day, and there is no end in sight.
I don’t want to go on without my son/daughter.
It’s not fair that my child’s life was taken when he/she was so young.
I don’t understand how a loving God could let someone’s child die.
The pain I’m in is so overwhelming that I can’t function.
I miss my baby so much—it’s all I can think about.

Tapping Script to Heal from Losing Your Mother

As with all of my tapping scripts, these statements can be used as is, or modified in any way that makes them resonate more fully with your experience. You may notice that when you start tapping on these statements, thoughts and feelings will arise that you can then turn into new tapping statements, which will then give rise to still more thoughts and feelings, which you can use to create additional tapping statements, and so on. I call this following the thread, and it’s a very efficient way to heal and release a lot of painful feelings in a short amount of time.

For a downloadable PDF of this tapping script, click here.

Here are the tapping statements: 

I'm overwhelmed with sadness because my mother died.

My mother died and I'll never get to see her again.

My mother died and I didn't get to say goodbye.

I wish I could have had more time with my mom.

My mom died and when I have kids she'll never get to meet them.

I wish there was something I could have done to save my mom.

I should have tried harder to save my mom.

I'm angry at God for taking my mother away from us.

My mom died when I was a kid and I had to grow up without her.

I would give anything to have my mom back.

I wish I could see my mom one last time and tell her how much I love her.

There are so many things I wish I'd said to my mom before she died.

No one will ever love me as much as my mom did.

I really miss my mom and I wish she was still here.

I'll always be sad about losing my mom.

I'm sad that my mom died before I got married.

My mom didn't live long enough to see her kids grow up, and that makes me really sad.

I wish my mom had lived long enough to realize her dreams.

I should have been a better daughter/son, and now it's too late.

The holidays are really hard without my mom.

I'm sad that my kids won't get to know my mom.

I'm sad that my mom never got to know my kids.

My mom loved me more than anyone else, and I really miss that kind of affection and support.

I wish my mom could be here to see what I've accomplished.

I still need my mom, but she's gone, and sometime that makes me feel like I have no one to turn to.

Sometimes when the phone rings, I think it's my mom, and then I remember it couldn't be, and the loss hits me all over again.

I'm really sad that I didn't get to say goodbye to my mom before she died.

I wish my mom could have had a longer life--there was still so much she wanted to do, and I'm sad that she didn't get to.

My mom was the one I could always turn to for advice and support, and now that she's gone, I feel really alone.

I still can't believe that my mom is gone--it's like it won't sink in.

What's a Tapping Script?

A tapping script is a list of statements you can use when you're giving yourself an EFT session. One of the things I hear the most often from my clients is that when they're tapping on their own between sessions with me (which is optional, not required!), they don't know what to say. That's why tapping scripts can be so helpful. When you're using a script, just read it over, and notice how each statement makes you feel. Does the statement have an emotional charge for you? Do you feel sad, distressed, angry, or hurt when you read it? If so, that's a good statement for you to tap on, because it brings up a part of you that is hurt and in need of healing.  

When you're using a tapping script, you don't have to use all of the statements that feel charged for you. Just use the ones you feel drawn to. When you've tapped that one down to zero or near zero, move on to another statement. You can use another statement from the script, or you can use a statement that may have come to you while you were tapping out a previous statement. Just go with what feels right to you, and remember that there is no wrong way to do it. Take it easy, be gentle with yourself, and trust the process. As long as you are focused on something that is painful to you while you are tapping, healing is taking place. 

The statements in the scripts offered here can be used as is, or modified in any way that makes them resonate more fully with your experience. You may notice that when you start tapping on these statements, thoughts and feelings will arise that you can then turn into new tapping statements, which will then give rise to still more thoughts and feelings, which you can use to create additional tapping statements, and so on. I call this following the thread, and it’s a very efficient way to heal and release a lot of painful feelings in a short amount of time.

How to Use EFT for First-Aid


Did you know that EFT is great for first aid? Just create a tapping statement out of the incident and injury, and tap until the pain, redness, swelling, brusing, and/or blistering begins to subside. I've used it successfully for emerging black eyes (and other large bruises), bee stings, deep cuts (pain stopped and cuts healed very quickly, within hours rather than days), burns, poison oak (itching and inflammation subsides while tapping), sprains, broken bones (pain relief after doctor visit), and more. I've seen burn blisters, bruises, and severe pain disappear within minutes. 

Here are some example tapping statements: 

"I fell and injured my arm."

"I got stung by a bee and it's inflamed and painful."

"I accidentally cut myself and now I have this painful gash."

"I got hit with a football and now I'm getting a black eye."

"Painful blister from burning my hand on the skillet."

When she was 11, my daughter cut herself so badly in woodworking class that not one but two of the other children in class threw up when they saw all the blood. A classmate  immediately did some tapping for her (yes, an 11-year-old who knew how to do EFT!), and I did more when I picked her up from school. After we finished tapping, she removed the bandage to show me the cuts, and they had healed so much that she had trouble finding them. Amazing, but true. We were both completely blown away.

Using EFT is not meant to be a substitute for medical care, but it can really speed up the healing process, and in some instances, make further treatment unnecessary.